When Dealing With Rejection

By Samantha Foster

“I’m sorry...I just don’t feel the same way” is what your love interest tells you, making those two hours of picking out the right outfit and fixing your hair utterly pointless.

“Thank you for your interest in our company but unfortunately we have no open positions.” says  the person on the other line of the phone after you’ve spent days working up the courage to call.

“We’re sorry to inform you that you have not been accepted into our program” starts the lovely little letter from the college of your dreams.  Getting punched in the gut with the dreadful feeling known as rejection can feel terrible, but here are a few tips to avoid a downward spiral of self pity.

1. Acknowledge How You Feel

Cry. Scream. Punch a pillow. Let's face it, rejection sucks, but there’s no need to sugarcoat it. Suppressing your emotions will only prolong the pain. Admit to yourself that you are feeling  angry, sad, ashamed, etc. Face your emotions head-on. If that means eating a pint of vanilla ice-cream then go for it.

2.  Think About The Possible Outcomes

This one works well for job rejections. If you knew that you didn't wear a clean outfit or went in unprepared, then you should take into consideration that you might not get a call back. Try to know in advance your chances in a situation. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t attempt to do the things that you want to just because the odds aren’t in your favor. However should rejection rear its ugly head, at least you’ll be prepared and the pain won’t sting as much.If anything, let your rejection be a learning experience. Ask yourself  “why was I rejected?” and self-reflect on the situation. Start to ask yourself questions like “what can I change so that the outcomes turn out differently?”

3. Build Up your Self- Esteem

Just because you didn’t get into that dream school doesn’t mean you’re dumb. So what if your love interest didn’t want to go on that date with you. It doesn’t mean you're unlovable. Don’t let your rejections define you. When being rejected makes you feel down, take a sheet of paper and write a list of goals that you’ve completed or interesting facts about yourself. If you can speak a different language, write it down. If you can make delicious spaghetti write that down too. Take this opportunity to brag and feel good about yourself.

4. Create A Support System

You don’t have to face your rejection alone. Talk to a friend, parent, guardian, or anyone else that you feel comfortable with about how you are feeling. Let them be the ones you can confide in and they can help you back on your feet.

5. Let It Go

Constantly thinking about your rejection is not a healthy thing to do. When it all comes down to it, rejection is a negative feeling and there’s no need to hang on to it once you’ve completed steps 1 through 4. Move on to step 5 by leaving your rejection behind you and start looking forward.