Cthulhu renounces nomination: Trump “will bring about sufficient suffering"

Cthulhu renounces nomination: Trump “will bring about sufficient suffering"

By Andy Nalewski

Cthulhu, herald of the extinction of the human race and true President-Elect of the United States (http://www.detourzine.com/column/creative/cthulhu-found-to-have-won-presidency-after-massive-recount), has renounced his nomination and intentions of worldwide devastation today, while granting an exclusive interview to Detour about his campaign and the current fate of the planet.

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Cam Newton Breaks Arm While ‘Dabbing on Haters’ after Superbowl Loss

Cam Newton Breaks Arm While ‘Dabbing on Haters’ after Superbowl Loss

By Tim Nazzaro

t’s as if millions of Carolina voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. At Cam Newton’s press conference, moments after his Superbowl loss, disaster struck. Cam Newton stood up at the podium with a snarky demeanor and answered many questions about his pitiful performance during the game.

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Waiting

Waiting

By Alexa Nelson

I sat in the waiting room, the nervous jiggling of my foot sending vibrations up my leg. The wait time was “a jiffy”, as the nurse so cheerfully called it. When I asked her for an actual number, her smile dropped and I could feel the chill from her attitude as her cheer disappeared, apparently put off by the fact that I didn’t go along with her absurd time frame of twenty minutes.

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How to Write a Superhero

How to Write a Superhero

BY ANDY NALEWSKI

I live the writer's nightmare. For a damn month, I’ve sat no less than six hours a day staring at that blinking cursor on the blank page. Nothing. I smoked pot. Nothing. I drank. Nothing. I thought it might be the medium, so I went to pen and paper. I just doodled cats and cute little things. I haven’t a single fucking ounce of inspiration.

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I Travel Because...

 I Travel Because...

BY TAVA HOAG

This past summer, I spent two months studying abroad at the University of Stirling in Scotland. I took part in an internship program at one of the local youth hostels called Willy Wallace. While there, I decided it would be really interesting to interview various guests who stayed in the hostel about traveling and different topics.

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