Plain and Simple

I want to keep this plain and as simple as I can… But there really is no way for me to do so. It wasn’t that plain or simple of a night. It was a cliché, I suppose, at least to me. We met almost the same way my parents did; two people, complete strangers to one another, one a bit bolder than the other. The bold one was me, I made the move to walk across the busy café and ask him “hey are you here alone?” to which he of course replied with a sullen yes. His voice was shaking, he seemed nervous, I knew why.

I had on a pretty low cut cotton dress that I caught him catching a glance every now and then at my chest. I can’t say I blame him, I mean, I did put on my favorite push up bra that night with full intention of meeting someone. Thank god it wasn’t tinder I kept telling myself. I didn’t even have to try though. He was easy to talk to, interesting and funny. Most men are, but he didn’t even try, because it wasn’t like any encounter you have with someone… I caught him off guard from the start, reading his book all alone there on a Friday night. Watching the glances my friends continuously gave me from across the room, he said to me “Ok, well you did something bold, now I’m going to do the same and ask you if I can kiss you.”

My face turned the brightest shade of red. We had been going on and on about where we were from, what we do and how often we go out for at least thirty minutes at that point… and I was just completely infatuated with him in that moment. Also, being fresh out of any relationship with anyone can make grand gestures such as this seem like they’re the highlight of your life, but the truth is… That kiss honestly was. I’d never been approached with that sort of boldness on the part of a young man such as him, and now he had caught me off guard. The red brick of the walls just outside the café felt inviting as my back pressed into them harder and harder. He kissed every inch of my neck until suddenly I burst into laughter. The sheer madness that was racing through my mind; barely being out of a relationship for a week and here I am slowly melting right in this guy’s hands!? This was too terrifying for my little mind to comprehend. So I just didn’t let it scare me. I acted as if nothing was going to happen…

But it did… We got out of that café and walked down the street for some fried food, which I would never in a million years be one to eat in front of such an attractive guy! I felt for most of my college years that a young lady shouldn’t stuff her face in front of a man… Also, I think I was with the wrong man to begin with, so to hell with it I thought! Let’s eat those fried Oreos and chat the night away! Again… Something happened that I didn’t expect to happen…

From all my convictions, all my advising towards my feeble little mind “don’t put out! Don’t do it again, you’ll get your heart broken!”… Yeah no, that wasn’t happening. There we were, sitting in the back of my car, making out like two hooligans… It was freezing… too cold to even think to say no. I’ll admit, I felt EXTREMELY scandalous, but who could blame me? In less than two months, I stuck out twice; once with my best friend, and another with a tinder guy. I couldn’t tell if in that moment of wanting to say no and my ass being too cold to say no if I was desperate for affection or desperate for warmth… Turns out, I just wanted to be warm.

You see, I would still be happy just knowing I met that guy. He didn’t have to call, text, or anything. For the first time, I found myself living in the moment and not thinking about the next morning. I didn’t feel reckless or irresponsible at all, it just felt like I was free to be myself and not give a damn… But again, something else happened that I didn’t expect…

It’s been a month since that night, and I’m still seeing him. It was the second date… or rather the next day I should say that I didn’t expect him to be so eager to see me, or I so eager to see him. I was just being myself, not even dolled up, and just dressed down. And to me, that’s all you really need to do to find that someone special. You shouldn’t have to be nervous, or have to try so hard at being better, because better comes the day after. And it only gets better from there.