An Open Letter to Everyone I Saw Today

An Open Letter to Everyone I Saw Today

BY MELISSA MARTONE

Dear Chris,

    I go to bed next to you every night. I wake up next to you every morning, and that’s okay. I love you, there’s no question about that. However, you’d better shut your snoring mouth before I put something terrible in it. Your sprawled out, slack-jawed, sleeping figure could not be dearer to me, but I will not hesitate to sprinkle cat litter in your mouth the next time you roll over and snore directly into my face.

                            Love,

                                 Your Adoring Girlfriend

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